what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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