Your mouth is God's brothel.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
operation harelip BJ is a go
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I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
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You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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