So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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