Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize