He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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