i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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