New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize