yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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