I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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