She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
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You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
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How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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