my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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