His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
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We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
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We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize