Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
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I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
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I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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