I just cut my nipple shaving
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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