My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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