i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
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Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
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I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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