Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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