I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
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I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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