She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize