He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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