I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize