hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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