Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize