If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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