I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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