I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
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He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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