Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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