Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
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I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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