all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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