I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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