get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize