My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
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I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
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From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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