a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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