And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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