Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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