I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize