Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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