If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize