true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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