Your dad touched me again.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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