Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
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Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
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In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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