You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
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I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We talked him into tasing himself.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
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My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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