Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize