I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
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Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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