need another drink. this is the easiest way
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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