We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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