i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We got so high we made milksteak
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
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I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
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Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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