If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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