I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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