I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
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I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
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I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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